“For about half an hour I’ve been reading the 2 letters and the card and only now do l realize that I’ve been laughing the whole time. “I’m tired, can’t think of a thing, and my sole wish is to lay my head in your lap, feel your hand on my head, and stay that way through all eternity. ![]() ![]() “Letters like the two today, small and happy or at least spontaneous, are almost (almost almost almost almost) forest, and wind in your sleeves and a view of Vienna. “With you in my heart I can bear everything, and even if I did write that the days without letters were horrifying, it’s not true they were just horribly difficult-the boat was heavy and it’s draught was horribly deep, but on your tide it floated nonetheless.” With my teeth clenched, however, and with your eyes before me I can endure anything: distance, anxiety, worry, letterlessness.” Giants have their weaknesses as well I believe even Hercules fainted once. “It’s simply a weakness, a mood of the heart, which knows exactly why it’s beating nevertheless. “By the way, why am I a human being, with all the torments this extremely vague and horribly responsible condition entails? Why am I not, for example, the happy wardrobe in your room, which has you in full view whenever you’re sitting in your chair or at your desk or when you’re lying down or sleeping (all blessings upon your sleep!)?” “And when you go to bed tonight, as a good night wish from me, take in – all in one stream – everything I am and have: all of which is blissfully happy to rest in you.” Of course it’s impossible that a letter could be here already, but explain that to my heart.” “It’s a little gloomy in Prague, I haven’t received any letters, my heart is a little heavy. Wrong! Wrong! But my lips are babbling and my face is lying in your lap.” “Somehow I can’t write about anything but what concerns us and us alone, in the middle of the crowded world. It is a blow because it will take time and I need all the time I have and a thousand times more than all the time I have and most of all I’d like to have all the time there is just for you, for thinking about you, for breathing in you.” “An old uncle of mine is arriving tomorrow evening from Paris. “Today I looked at a map of Vienna, for a moment it seemed incomprehensible to me that they would build such a huge city when you only need one room.” (now I’m even losing my name-it was getting shorter and But it does not guide those who are enclosed, just those who see.” “At the same time something occurs to me I once read at somebody’s house, something like this: “My beloved is a fiery column passing over the earth. “Where am I trying to lead you with all this? I’ve lost my way a little, but that doesn’t matter, because if you’ve accompanied me, then we’re both lost.” ![]() “Do you know, darling? When you became involved with others you quite possibly stepped down a level or two, but If you become involved with me, you will be throwing yourself into the abyss.” I can’t listen both to the terrible inner voices and to you simultaneously, but I can listen to what the voices are saying and confide this in you, trusting you like no other person in the world.” You are standing fast by a tree, young, beautiful, your eyes are subduing the sorrows of the world with their brightness. I can’t think of anything to write, I’m just walking around here between the lines, underneath the light of your eyes, in the breath of your mouth like in some beautiful happy day, which stays beautiful and happy even if my head is sick, tired, and if I have to leave Monday via Munich.F” ![]() “It’s so wonderful to have received your letter, to have to answer it with my sleepless brain. Isn’t one letter enough, isn’t one knowing enough? Of course it is, but nevertheless I am tilting my head way back, drinking the letters, aware only that I don’t want to stop drinking. But this passion for letters is senseless. “What do you think? Can I still get a letter by Sunday? It should be possible. “Good heavens, Milena, if you were here, and my pitiful, unthinking mind! And still I would be lying if I said I missed you: it’s the most perfect, most painful magic, you are here, just as I am and even more so wherever I am, there you are too, and even more intensely.”
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